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Pokemon Celebrity Jeopardy 2

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- Pokémon Celebrity Jeopardy! -

(Jeopardy music begins to play)

(Camera zooms in on the host’s podium)

AK: Hello, and welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy, Pokémon edition. I must apologize for what happened just before the commercial break, and would like to express my deepest regrets to all little girls in the viewing audience. If you're just joining us, we have a tight race for the lead in progress here:

(cuts to the contestant podiums)

AK: In second place with -$33,000...is Misty of the Cerulean Gym.

Misty: I'd like to take this opportunity to say hello to my little boy toy Ashy! My mallet and I miss you!

AK: Touching. In the lead with -$32,800...is May Maple.

May: Hi, everybody! I'm only ten! (strikes a pose)

AK: (shakes head) Sure you are. Lastly, with a Jeopardy record -$275,000...Paul.

Paul: Those categories in the first round were too weak.

AK: Somehow, I think there might be another reason. It's time for Double Jeopardy, with these as today's categories. They are:

(cut away to reveal the Jeopardy board)

AK: “Hoenn Pokémon”, “Which is Bigger?” - In that category, we'll show you a picture of two objects, and you'll tell us which one is bigger. Continuing with “Count to 3”, “Potent Potables”, “Touch Your Nose”, “Days of the Week”, and finally “Draw a Line”. May, you're in first place, so I'll let you choose first.

May: (continues making non-ten-year-old poses)

AK: (stares with a frustrated look) May. PLEASE choose a category.

May: Okay. I'll take “Contests I've Won” for $64,000.

AK: (looks at the board in disbelief) I do not get paid enough for this. Let's just go to “Days of the Week” for $600. The answer is:

Saturday and Sunday are the only two days of the week that begin with this letter.

(May rings in)

AK: May.

May: Y.

(buzzer sounds)

AK: No.

(Paul rings in)

AK: Paul.

Paul: KY.

(buzzer sounds)

AK: (hangs head) ...That might be the filthiest answer ever given.

(Misty rings in)

AK: Misty.

Misty: A, for my sweet Ashy!

(buzzer sounds)

AK: (hits head on podium) I may need to refill my whiskey flask soon. The answer was “S”. (Shakes head) Tough start for all our contestants. May, the board is still yours, but since you are totally incapable of selecting, I'll let Paul choose next.

Paul: Fine, you little worm. I'll take “Whoring Pokémon”.

AK: (glares at Paul, then looks at board) No! That category is "Hoenn Pokémon", not "Whoring Pokémon"!

Paul: I bet you know a thing or two about whoring.

AK: (glares, then sighs angrily) “Hoenn Pokémon”, for $200.

This Pokémon with zig-zag patterns is often dubbed the “Tiny Raccoon Pokémon”.

(Paul rings in)

AK: Paul.

Paul: Linoone.

(buzzer sounds)

AK: That is incorrect.

Paul: It's a better answer. I should get double points.

AK: It's a WRONG answer! You get nothing!

Paul: (flips the bird)

AK: That is completely uncalled for.

(May rings in)

AK: May.

May: I saw one of those cute little things one time. I was walking along the beach in this cute little swimsuit Brock had bought me, and everybody was staring at my back...

(time's up buzzer cuts her off)

AK: (stares for a moment, then shakes head) There is something terribly wrong with you.

(Paul rings in)

AK: (sigh) Paul, you already rang in.

Paul: I'm telling you, Linoone is a better answer.

AK: Just shut up. Misty, please choose a category.

Misty: Okay. I'll take "My Sweet Ashy" for $17,000.

AK: (takes a long swig from the whiskey flask) Your fixation is very disturbing. We'll move on to "Which is Bigger?" for $200. Please look at your monitors.

(monitors display a picture with a mouse and elephant side by side)

AK: Which of these objects is bigger?

(May rings in)

AK: May.

May: The photo!

(buzzer sounds)

AK: No.

(Paul rings in)

AK: Paul.

Paul: Your mother.

AK: (runs fingers through hair) I hate you.

(Misty rings in)

AK: Misty

Misty: Pikachu.

(buzzer sounds)

AK: Not by a long shot. Misty, please choose again.

Misty: Um...the counting thing for $600.

AK: (irritated) "Counting to 3" for $600. The answer is:

- Count to 3

(silence)

AK: Anyone.

(Paul rings in)

AK: Paul.

Paul: A, B, C.

(buzzer sounds)

AK: That is incorrect.

(silence)

AK: Anyone?

(May rings in)

AK: (sigh) May.

May: Then another time, I was wearing this strapless dress that Brock got me and we were out walking down the beach-

AK: Shut up! (exasperated) I think we'd better move on to Final Jeopardy.

(Final Jeopardy cue appears on screen)

AK: And your category for today is...(reads card, then throws it across the studio) That one was much too hard for our...esteemed panel of contestants. How about...Draw the Pokédollar sign. All you have to do is draw a pokédollar sign.

(Lights dim, Final Jeopardy music plays, everybody starts writing. A few seconds later...)

AK: There is no reason any of you need more than this much time for the response. It's just a P with two lines going through it. As long as the two lines are on it, we'll accept as a correct answer. They don't even have to be in the right spot.

(Music ends, lights go back up)

AK: (heavy sigh) Well, let's see what kind of disaster we have on our hands here.

(AK leaves the host podium and walks toward the contestant podiums)

AK: Misty, we'll start with you. You only had to write down the symbol for the Pokédollar. Your answer was:

- I luv

AK: "I love". I suppose you wagered Ash?

- my Ashy

AK: Close enough. So sweet it's sickening.

Misty: C'mon! It's a sweet young love story. Everybody likes those!

AK: It's still a wrong answer. Moving on...May Maple, who appeared to write far too much...And is, in fact, still writing...(looks at the writing screen)...Let's see what she's got so far:

- There was this one time that I got woken up in the middle of the night and Brock wanted me to model some new swimsuits...

AK: Stop writing right now. You're nowhere near right.

May: But I want to show off the power of my innocent cuteness! (makes more mature poses)

AK: (shakes head) You are either an airhead or something far more sinister. Now, we come to Paul. You look pretty sure of yourself.

Paul: Of course I am. The question was far too simple.

AK: Let's see what you came up with:

- ¥

AK: You put down the symbol for yen. Well, I tell you what...We'll accept that, since it is an official alternate representation. Let's look at your wager:

- Up ¥ours

Paul: (laughs uproariously)

AK: Up yours. (sadly shakes head) I see the fact that this is for charity has no meaning to you.

(AK walks out to center stage)

AK: Well...That's it for today's show. Once again, three excellent charities will not receive needed help. I'm Arc Knight, and I'm switching to a stronger brand of spirited drink. Good night.

(the credits roll)

- End
Here's the second chapter I made for FF.net. I'll put it here so my first work won't be so lonely.
Comments4
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SailorSun546's avatar
Wow, Paul was great! XD A little valgure, but so was the original Celeberity Jeopardy. Heheh.

Yay Poke'shipping! 8D